Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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