Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
