Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
