moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
