On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize