I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
