There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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