I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
