That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
