dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
