We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
