I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
