he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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