Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
