How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
