i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
