he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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