I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize