Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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