Swine flu. Run for my life!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
