ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
