He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
3 2 1 whiskey
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
