Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
