you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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