I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My feet surprised me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
