you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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