We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
