i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
