Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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