wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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