the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
