pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
