wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
