I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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