thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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