Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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