her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
