she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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