Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
