woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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