Duck Duck Cougar?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
