a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
