u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
