She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
not ubering you a puppy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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