How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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