we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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