all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
