wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize