Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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