Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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