I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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