everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize