Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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