I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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