I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
