well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
