Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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