I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
