Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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