White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
