I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
jump out the window naked night went bad
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
