Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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