This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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